Authentic Relating Games

Curiosity Game

One person asks questions they are truly moved to ask, the other answers, then gives feedback on how the questions landed before a second round. It teaches both genuine curiosity and responsive listening.

Game flow example

Game flow example

Curiosity Game

A simple sample of what this game can sound like in practice.

Person A

What feels most alive for you right now as we sit here?

Person B

A mix of excitement and self-consciousness. I want to be real and I also want to do this well.

Person A

What happens in you when you notice both of those at the same time?

Person B

I slow down. It feels less like a performance and more like contact.

Partners switch roles and complete the same question round before the facilitator moves on to feedback.

Set up

Pair people up and frame the exercise as a three-part game: question round, feedback on how the questions landed, then a second question round shaped by that feedback. Make it explicit from the start that the answerer can pass on any question. Good questions come from contact, not from trying to be impressive.

A simple flow

  1. Person A asks only the questions they are genuinely moved to ask, and Person B answers from present experience rather than polished biography.
  2. After a few minutes, Person B gives feedback: which questions opened them, which closed them, and what pace helped.
  3. Person A asks a second short round, staying true to their curiosity while integrating that feedback.
  4. Switch roles and repeat the same three-part sequence.

Prompts to use

  • Question round: “What feels most alive for you right now?”
  • Feedback round: “How are these questions landing for you?”
  • Second round: “What feels most alive now that we slowed it down?”

What to watch for

  • Interview mode: clever questions with no real relational stake.
  • Treating the feedback round like criticism instead of information.
  • Abandoning real curiosity in the second round just to 'do it right.'

Good variations

  • Restrict the questioner to one-word openings like what, how, or where to keep questions simple.
  • Let the questioner say 'Thank you' and stop the thread when they are no longer genuinely curious about the answer.

Previous game

Noticing Game

Presence classic

Next game

What I Think You Think of Me

Projection check

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Authentic Relating

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